I need a facewash. I'm gross. There were twelve people in the audience tonight. No laughers either. I worked my ass off tonight. I crammed little pieces of comedy everywhere I could, still nothing. Fricking frustrating.

How can I like a show about video games and not like video games very much? I'm pretty stupid, that's how.
There's nothing on the internet. I'm going to bed.

my comments is broken. is sad. but not too sad.

Today sucked worse than yesterday. I know, you're all crying for me. My worst day is still pretty good, so I won't complain too much.

I have a new crush. No, I won't tell you who it is. and stop guessing. I'm a grown up. I'm in the crush closet from now on.

I'd much rather have "sex" than "gender".

There is a government agency (heretofore referred to as "the company") that wants to eat my human brain because it doesn't know what it means to feel.

I'm doing this huge job and I keep getting calls, not from people, but from "the company" and "the company" wants absolutely ridiculous things. "The company" made me make phone calls to contractors for three hours today. I no longer believe it is a building where people work to serve a common purpose, it's more like the giant master computer from Tron that wants to eat all our hypothalamus glands to maintain its undead state.

For more on giant master computer zombies, check out
Space Mandino's Robots from The Graveyard. It's so lo-fi you can barely hear the vocals. Now-with banjos!

Also, word to the wise: if someone calls you at work and asks for your email address for work-related purposes, it is fine to give out your personal address, but not if the name itself refers to a hardcore twisted sex act and can't be mistaken for anything else. Oh! My delicate senses! ::faints::

If you have any information on zombies, music about zombies or how to kill giant master computer zombies, please fill out a comment card below.

and god help you if you are an ugly girl
course too pretty is also your doom
cause everyone harbors a secret hatred
for the prettiest girl in the room

Tavie reminded me of this:
It's not new, but it's still hilarious.

What's a Leonard Nimoy?

I watched Last Night on, um, Sunday night. It was odd, dark and funny and it got under my skin.

Goodness. That signature. He is not from this planet.

Our president is a dick. I'm not even gay and I want to marry a woman just to piss him off.

There's more pictures over there at my moblog. It is just about the funnest thing ever.

I left a pack of saltines at work. I'm feenin' for them. That's kind of wrong, isn't it?

Oh yeah, I got the first season of kids in the hall on dvd. delicious.

um. ok.

The funeral was really nice. Of course it was sad, but nice. There was an honor guard, that was cool. It was nice to be with my family for a while. We're big and catholic and crazy but we really like each other. He was a great guy. A few days ago, when he was close to the end, my uncle mentioned it was snowing outside, and he recited "whose woods these are I think I know" from memory. He loved poetry and music. Also, I'm not ashamed to say, he was quite the hottie in his day and a funny, funny guy. Good genes. Thank god.

I won't go on and on. It was a tough day, but good-tough.

After the luncheon we went to the video game store with my brother and sisinlaw to pick up the new james bond game. It must have been quite a sight to see us all in our nice clothes in the middle of the day browsing the action figures. heehee.

I actually had a pretty good show tonight.

Now I'm listening to some lovely cello in his honor. I'm exhausted.

I got a camera phone last night. Because I always wanted a digital camera that could multi-task.
Check out the scoop at my moblog.

There's nothing there yet, really. And the pictures didn't start coming out until I charged the battery. Still: fun.

Make it stop.

Shut. UP.

"I'm having a quiet cry and snack."
Feeling a little sentimental.

I wanna go back to sleep.

in the motions, and the things that you say
it all will fall, fall right into place.
as fruit drops
flesh it sags
everything will
fall right into place.

I would have sent you to modestmouse.com, but the intro scared the crap out of me.

The internet is boring.

I'm getting a lot of hits for the "Peanuts sing Hey Ya!", but I guess the link I have is down. I can't help you. If anybody does have it mirrored on a site, let me know. I'll share the love.

My grandfather passed away last night. It's sad, but we all saw it coming and prepared for it. I'm kind of glad the system failed him and he had to move out of the hospital and into my aunt and uncle's house for his final days. It was peaceful and he was with his family. He was a really good guy.

You are a book that I like to read
One where the characters mature with me.

This post is all over the place. Sorry.

Friday's show was horrible by the way. Horrible. I had two separate icky conversations right before, and then we had about seven wardrobe malfunctions, maybe eight people in the audience, and the audience was 1/8 critic. Bah. Whatevs.

Things I love right now:
1. Esquivel's Cabaret Manana, if only for "Mucho Muchacha"
2. Of Montreal's Early Four Tracks, if only for the title, "Dustin Hoffman Does Not Resist Temptation to Eat the Bathtub"
3. I enjoy Tech Tv a great deal. I like a lot of stuff on that channel. Even xplay, which I can't really enjoy* on the level it's meant to be enjoyed, holds my attention. I blame the loveable awkwardness of the hosts. (It's only a matter of time before I have a crush on Adam Sessler. Oh, stop it.) And I now kind of understand the theory of "the memory of water". I could only watch half of it before I had to leave last night, but it was still pretty cool. Now I'm s'smart.
4. The Star Wars comforter: I'm like a four year old, dragging it from room to room.
5. You know what's weird? I always crush on virgos, but I never find out they're virgos until after the crush has "taken form". It's like, "Oh, he's cute." and then it's like, "I wonder when his birthday is." And then it's like, "oh, late August to September." Same thing with bands from Athens, GA. I like a band, and then it's like, "Hey, where are they from?" and then it's like, "Oh, Athens." It's not interesting. It doesn't merit a number. I'm just saying.

Things I don't like (for balance):
celery and driving.


*we might be going halvsies on a rifle for the xbox, so I can finally play silent scope and house of the dead. hells yes. I am so anti-gun, and yet, so pro-fake-gun

Anybody want to rub my neck?
No?
I don't blame you.

Anybody want to go see my play tonight? There are unlimited free tickets under my name tonight, so if you want to go, just go! and say the password!

Hey!
An extra hour of sleep leaves me so relaxed and content it's a little unnerving. I'm actually semi-perky. ::shiver::

Some awesome downloadable valentines at Fuck Hallmark.

And if you are lonely this vlalentimes day, take this opportunity to "love yourself" while looking at the x-play webcams. (Although, if it's not during business hours pacific time, you'll be cuffing it to a picture of a darkened room.) That's meta-geeky. Meta-meta-meta. I'm banking on the theory that if I get "meta" enough I become cool. I'm thinking I might not really understand what "meta" means.

My sister got engaged!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's been through so much to get to a good place in her life, she deserves the bestest, happiest marriage ever. We all like him. Yay.

I need to accept the fact that no matter how you shake it, life is really really really really hard.

I totally deserve a raise.

Helpful hint:
If you have to wear nylons, buy the absolute biggest pair they sell. Then you can slide into them like a pair of pants. Sure, they bunch a little at the ankle, but it's so worth it to avoid a wrestling match with them on the floor of the bathroom. Am I the only one? Mkay.


The Peanuts version of "Hey Ya!".

The show opened last night. I didn't throw up and I didn't bump into the furniture. So that's a relief.
I actually did ok. I get to wear funny things and talk funny and stuff and I think people liked it.

One more day and I get to sleep in. Ah! Glorious time to myself! How long I took you for granted. I am going to do so much nothing.

My eyelids are sticky.


Can I say the thing I love? After the play, I like to stand in front of the mirror in my shmaltzy dress, heavy makeup and wig cap, and slowly, tragically peel off my false eyelashes, while I sing a melancholy song. I am such a drag queen.

Designer: This dress is too short, I'm going to make you an underskirt.
Me: but I like this dress! This costume makes me look exactly like Bruce Mcculloch when he's dressed like a woman.
Designer: Well, that was the point.

I know the allegations against Liza are false, but seriously, who wouldn't pound the crap out of that? Especially when you're just waking up in the morning and it's just there in bed scaring the crap out of you. He looks like he has pantyhose over his face.

Hello.
Random:
It's almost thirty degrees out there. I never imagined I would find it "warm", but in comparison to the past few weeks it's like spring. I am postively giddy.
and . . .
They fixed the heat in the theater!
They fixed the heat in the theater!!
They fixed the heat in the theater!!!

and I was commended by the stage manager for never whining when it was cold. Not to her, anyway.

I want to go out to dinner very, very much.

French music is very, very funny.

I'm going to miss Smallville and The OC tonight. I miss my friends.
::pout::

I promise I won't complain about being in a play anymore. We have to be grateful for our opportunities.
but still, ::pout::

I'm headed for a meltdown. I'm nowhere near peformance mode and it shows. I'm dealing with changes. Costumes changes, scene changes, changes in the scene changes. I'm sad. There are worse things, so I still appreciate today. I am glad to be safe and whole, I just wish I could get a little more time.
My thinkin's all cloudy.
I don't know how people work long hours like this. I think I need to take a day off from here soon, just to decompress.

This is kind of hilarious.
Those who eat glass freeze pops are far more likely to develop shards-related ailments than those who don't eat them.

What a horrible week. I had an awful, long week, and then I spent my one day off voiding my empty stomach over and over. Saturday night, when I thought I had begun to feel better, I drank a little ginger ale and watched a werewolf movie with my bf. Feeling fine, road to recovery, and werewolves! 'Cept, in the movie, one girl put another in a headlock, and covered the girl's mouth, and then girl in the headlock? Puked. And so did I. On the carpet. I felt better after that though, well enough to eat some delicious crackers. So thank you, Ginger Snaps, for being so bad I puked the sick right out of me. Huzzah.