Blogging from the Song commercail store place. my feet are freeeekin killing me.

um. . yeah. that's it.

Now that Jess knows I can post it here:

For christmas I got a 1/2 carat princess cut diamond in a white gold cathedral setting. Yeah. So that totally just happened. I am still a little wigged out. I'll report back when I'm able to form complete thoughts.

"What do you get a Wookie for Christmas when he already has a comb?"

love, understanding and a brush.

Merry christmas everybody.

Oh my god. My dad was unloading his truck yesterday and he felt something like a little pipe cleaner on one of the shelves. Didn't think much of it. Went back inside his truck after it was empty and looked at the shelf in question and found THE SHED SKIN OF A TARANTULA. Then HE BROUGHT IT HOME TO SHOW MY BROTHER.
Grody. I hope it isn't still in his truck. My dad is a big guy and he can take a spider but he could get into an accident if he found A TARANTULA crawling on his shoulder.
My hope is that it steps out of the truck to take a leak on one of my dad's stops and he drives away while it's still zipping up it's fly. I saw the thing. It's mutherfucking huge.

We're getting jackets for our office christmas gift, and they are really, really nice jackets. Except the person who picked them out is under 5 feet tall and weighs less than 100 pounds. More than half the office tried them on and said, "What's the biggest size you've got? Go one bigger." The biggest size on an average person looks like a tight turtleneck. They are very slim, tight fitting and boy, is it humbling to sit here and listen while the other secretary has a fifteen minute conversation with the guy from the store about my chest size and her misgivings about whether the largest size will be comfortable for me.

Now I have to give my measurements so they can custom fit one for me. It's going to cost almost double and it's not going to be very flattering.

Whatever, man, I'm not saying everybody has to get something different because I'm uncomfortably buxom but just don't give me anything, you know? It's fucking humiliating.

Oh, hi.

I went to the office christmas party on Friday. I won't complain about the logistics, but, there were two cocktail hours at two different places and the seating was completely effed up. I didn't drink that much at all and yet I spent all of Saturday recovering. That sucked.
Saturday night was a small gathering with some friends for gift exchange and "cheer". (I drank tea, because I was "cheering" into the toilet bowl most of the day. ew, and ha.) I got a Merry and Pippin playset, a tea for one cup and pot, a candle and a tarot deck. Aw.
I shopped all day Sunday and I got eeeeverythang. I have spent so much g.d. money. Then another gathering with different friends. We got some greek myth books (for the boy.:P) and the Lord of the Rings (squeee!) Trivial Pursuit.
Awesomesauce. I love Christmas.

I got to spend a little bit of time and moola with my brother last night. We went to Amvets and I bought some records*. Then Wegmans. I love wegmans.

Tonight I have the readthrough for the new show. I'm very fatigued. I feel like I'm in fast forward.

* Honky Tonk Percussion Piano, Scottish Pipe and Drum military band, and some frenchie thing. I love old timey french music.

um . . . what?

I brought Ender's Game to the theater on Tuesday to occupy myself, and I left it on the floor during the movie. I guess it must have gotten kicked or something because at one point the cute high school-aged kid next to me handed it to me and said, "Is this your book?"
"yes, thanks."
"Good book."
It was just kinda sweet. He's right, too.

I'm sure it's delicious, but the put the word "turd" in your holiday dish and i just can't do it.

My brother's email signature is:
"No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit."

Go see Return of the King. No, do it.

So the Trilogy Tuesday was awesome. It was a little fucknutty at the beginning, mainly because they said they were letting us in 2 hours before when they said they wouldn't let us in until 20 minutes before. And we were allowed outside food, which we didn't know until we got there so I subsisted on hot pretezels and a cherry slushie. (Plus, c'mon with the oniony hoagies in the sweltering theater already.)

But honestly and truly, if you weren't that hot for the second one or whatever just trust me. It was worth sitting in a crowded, stinky theater for 12 hours. It was totally worth waiting three years for.

in non-geek news:
My company decided to switch our paycheck service the week before christmas so I won't be getting my paycheck when I'm supposed to a week before christmas and I need to still shop because it's a week before christmas. Der. It clears at midnight, but after work today is really the last night I can go. Bullshit. Anywho. This is fun. I missed a whole day of internet.

It finally snowed for real and stayed. Yay.

I did a lot of christmas shopping this weekend. I have so much more to do still.

I so can't wait for return of the king. Jesusgod. Can't think of much more to talk about.

[pippin was taking too long to load.]

jelly bracelets" are making a comeback with teens and some grade-school kids. But this time, there's a twist: In some parts of the U.S., they're calling them "sex bracelets" -- with various colors supposedly representing promises to perform sex acts in a game called "Snap."

Also taking the country by storm, a terrifying new game called "Mash", which is said to predict who the kids will marry, what kind of cars they will drive, how many kids they will have, and whether they will live in a mansion, an apartment, a shack or a house.

I kind of liked Battlestar Galactica. I think they did a lot with a small budget. I thought it was kind of unique and refreshing that technology and machinery in the future is not all perfect and slick. The "intergalactic intercom" reminded me of the broken dispatch walkies my dad used to let us play with. So adorable, with their big black coils. Plus, I think the little hexagonal papers that everything printed out on were just charming.
It really is all about hexagons. It's good television.

"The 42 people in line for president before her were killed? Wasn't that pretty much the plot of King Ralph?" (tm Alex)

I am mystified by The Soham Trial. I can't look away. I want to know what really happened. The guy went from "I never saw them." to "They stopped by but never came in." to, "Yes, they died in my house and I hid the bodies. But I didn't 'kill' them on purpose." It's insane and sad and gruesome.

M'Kay. Learn from me:
Never ever tell anybody how you feel.
Never storm away from something you may want to walk back into again someday.
Always cut all your hair off and start over.
Even if you can let go of something, other people may be hanging onto it with all of their strength.
Friendship is rarer than you think.

This information would have come in handy a long time ago.

Yo. Please please check out the magnified view.

I've got two people talking me into wearing a costume to trilogy tuesday and no one talking me out of it. Adult woman. Must resist.

By the way, my new hair matched with my "Godspell" rainbow scarf and my nerd collars and sweaters is so completely emo. I didn't even try.

I hate every chimp I see. From chimpan-A to chimpan-Z.

Rant:
I'm a little irritated. Like, I love this friend of ours, but my bf is my bf. And I don't mean to get territorial, but I think I kind of have a right to in this situation. Don't you think there's something wrong with a woman harassing someone else's bf into coming to her house for dinner for months? Why would you wear somebody down like that?
Isn't it a little off that she'd invite him and not me, considering we've been together for almost 8 years? I hate to say anything about her, because we've been friends for a long time. Plus, it was just dinner, so what's the big deal? It's not that I'm worried about him. Child, please. But I'm protective and possesive and that's just how it is.

I just hate when people guilt him into doing things, because he'd do anything for anybody and I keep seeing people taking advantage of him and pulling him in too many directions. It's infuriating.
Of course, I don't blame her. He'll get out of bed at 8am on his day off to drive you to work, take you grocery shopping during a Bills game, bring you tea, buy everybody's tickets to a show so we can all sit together, make you orange chicken with broccoli, fix the blankets so you can just slip in at night, and make your tired, sorry, wide ass feel like an object of desire. And that was just this weekend. But, like I said, he a one woman man.

**On further thought I have edited this to take out some of the unfeeling, cold bitchiness that I'm so good at doling out. I don't have any right to hurt her feelings even though she got my shackles up.

I cut off all my hair. Yeehee!
It looks a little weird, but good weird. I wanted a layered shag. I got a 1930s pageboy. Weird. But a good weird, like I say.
Don't be mad? Please? I just couldn't take care of it anymore. And now when somebody says, "What's up?" I have something to talk about.

This courtroom sketch? The guy in the middle? My cousin. He's working for the judge in the trial or something. Crazy.

You know when I'm posting about my eczema that I have nothing of value to say.

I'm getting a haircut today. See? Nothing.

I am really good at being allergic to this sweater. Either that or I just feel crappy.

Two Truths and some sarcasm:
The sound of feet crunching on snow, in real life or on tv, gives me the bad gooseflesh. Speaking of flesh, I'd like to take off all of mine and start over.
itchy itchiness. Oh, and I found out what I've been doing wrong. Washing with soap. What an idiot I've been all this time.

The best way to watch television is to wait for a show to come out on dvd and then just watch episode after episode until you can't keep your eyes open any more.
Speaking of Band of Brothers, Ron Livingston certainly has got that special something.

Is it just me or has Nicole Kidman become a huge fatass?

I'll say it: I watch The O.C., and I enjoy it.

A breakdown:
Wednesday I saw Timeline. Yeah, don't.
Thursday I ate. I also made acorn squash, which tasted better than I thought it would. I think I can finally tell my cousin's kids apart, just in time for them to move out of state.
Friday I was sick all day. I had sent out emails to a few people about meeting up somewhere to hang out with out-of-towners who were in for the weekend. Thirty people showed up. We took over half the bar. I just never expect that when I invite people anywhere they will actually show up. So I am thankful for that.
Saturday we went to see the old improv show and then hanged out for quite a few adult beverages.
Last night we had a "Band of Brothers" mini-marathon, which is always good for reminding you of how good you really have it and the means by which you got it so good.

My home computer got a virus last night, and I woke up this morning with a sore throat. Coincidence????

Rude food is pretty funny. It's an English site, so there are certain things that don't strike me. Nips and sweetarts are on the list, but I never thought about their "rude" connotations. To me they are nothing but sweet, sweet candy. If that's wrong I don't want to be right. (No, I want to be right.)

It is so boring here. So boring.

Really?? Really?

My mom (who has not yet found out about my blog) went through the closet in my old room and found a bunch of books she wanted me to sort through, so I did that last night. She found some poetry or some crap of mine from high school and read it. "I didn't read anything embarassing. You are really talented. Really, sarah." That was unexpected and sweet.

Then I found out my grandfather won't talk to me and has been getting up and walking away anytime I'm near him because he wants me to lose weight. It's doesn't even actually bother me. He's missing out on a relationship with me for a stupid reason, it's his own fault.

(I just got to use my special talent! "Nicolas Cage and he's drunk?" "Leaving Las Vegas." Mutant power! Yeah!)

This is why I do not feel sorry for MJ:
He is a grown man who can and should be expected to deal with the consequences of his actions. He knew better and didn't change his behavior. People keep forgetting that homeboy's an adult who has been through this before.
No matter what actually happened, the kid has been manipulated and used. He life is going to be messed up forever. I save my sympathy for him.

IrreGAHDless, Thriller is still a really good album.

I have heard the phrase "hand-doin' it" (used to replace "manually") three times in this very office over the past two weeks.
Delicious.

The Partly Cloudy Patriot was good. I liked Take the Canoli better, but I also like to listen to Sarah Vowell more than read her. She makes me realize that no matter how much I write I can't be a writer because I don't know anything. I don't know anything about anything. I can name any movie whether I've seen it or not by vague description and one featured actor and I know most of the words to "Jack and Diane". That'll fill up one blog entry. Whatevah.

I spent some time shopping today because I needed to leave the house and what else is there to do in Buffalo on the 23rd of November when it's pushing 70 degrees but spend my money at the "big mall"?
Purchased:
faux fur comforter
multiple picture frame
shirt (for a friend)
car wash

All at different stores, not a single item purchased without a coupon. Blam.

The cast commentary on The Two Towers DVD is alternately horribly boring, wonderfully facinating, and fucking hilarious. the Merry and Pippin stuff is alone is worth the price of admission. DVD extras are nerd crack.

I have a cold now. Thanks, Todd.

I just had to type something here to move that rather racy bit down the page a smidge.
So, how are you doing?
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Not to be a poser, but Chingy's "Holidae In" is my favorite song.

Stop drop kaboom baby rub on yo nipples . . .
make your mammary glands jiggle
got em under control with a bowl of tender vittles


Tuna steaks are the pork chops of the sea.

I bumped into a guy while walking down Renfrew Street in Glasgow yesterday and said sorry and he said "Oh, it's all right, bird, it was my fault."

To be called a "bird" in Glasgow, by a Glasgewian . . . I'd give anything.
:)

Dear guy I just talked to on AIM for an hour,

I know I am bugging you while you are trying to do your homework so you can graduate and get a fancypants job and completely forget me, but you are far too nice to me and you let me talk about my boring interests in too much detail and it's just kind of nice to talk to a guy I don't already know inside and out. And I just kind of like you tons as a guy and there's nothing wrong with that. Plus, it's a little lonely dans la masion. Apology accepted? nnnkay?

love,

a jerk.

1. I just painted my nails all pretty and pink. Now my fingers are tip-tapping delicately across the keyboard.

2. I got a check for 32 potatoes from the gubberment today! I guess I never received one of my tax return checks. Hey, 32 smackers is nothing to sneeze at. As we say around here, "that's a lot of Mighty Taco*".

3. I dreamt last night that I had a grey tiger cub. I loved that scary little bastard.

4. I just remembered one of my first outright acts of defiance againt my mother.
Once, when reading a trivial pursuit answer, I said "Li-BERRY of Congress". On purpose. She was so disgusted.

5. Why such a crush? Why? When will I grow up? Never? Fer real? Do I only have crushes on guys with websites? Is that a factor?

6. My Michael Jackson joke: This is a fairy tale that starts in Neverland and ends in Oz.

7. Sorry.


*you can feed two adults for 8 dollars or less at Mighty Taco, and you get your food before you put away your change. Mighty rules.

Try to take this screener to see if you have adult add. It's like some kind of joke. Am I missing something? Maddening.
I love pizza. I wish I was at home. I can't wait to move to new york.
What were we talking about?

A special trip to Target is in the works to pick up the Two Towers Extended Edition DVD. No sleep tonight.

My skin is a pile of itch.

I know I've said this about other things before, but no, seriously this is the hottest picture in the history of pictures. (with the exception of maybe this.)

I'm on day one of a strict all water and fruit cleanse. It's going really well. I've modified it to include turkey sandwiches and hershey's kisses.
The problem with fruit and vegetable diets is, no one is stopping me from completely abandoning the whole thing six hours into it. Whatevah.

If you're not watching The Office, you ought to be, because it is such good television.
(*by the way, when David was doing his answer to the seventies dance on red nose day, and he was just flinging himself around kicking the air saying, "ennngh enghenghengh-engh", I'm pretty sure he was doing the bass line from disco inferno.)

I went to see Master and Commander last night. If you aren't a Royal Navy nerd before you see it, you will be. (And if you are going to text mutherfucking message during a really quiet, intense scene, stay home, or you will get yelled at.)

I finally got to see the puppet play I did the voice over for back in March. I've been a part of quite a few shows around here and this one is defintely the best. Seriously. It was all "Spoon River Anthology" and puppets, but it was visually stunning and surprisingly moving. If I had known what the context was I would have done it better.

Now, I'm going to see Elf. Weekends are too short.

Plus, I have no money and there is nothing edible in this house. I'm about to start gnawing on a pumpkin spice votive. Horray for credit cards! Hiphip!

Support independent film. Feel important. Sit in a dark room with strangers.
See Martin and Orloff.
Or help spread the word.

Better than the second and third movie combined.

Look! They put me on their page. That was mighty nice. :)

Hire me.

I like Olde Timey Music.

You know that commercial where the kid throws the Skittles in the air and they turn into fireworks? I wish I could do that with real Skittles.

You know that commercial where the people are pouring sugar into their lunch boxes, and the one girl is jogging and she stops to dump sugar into her mouth? I love that commercial.

I drink a quart of lime gatorade almost every day.
I wear truly ugly clothes.
I am a pretty unappealling human being.
And yet, deep down, I still manage to hate myself. But it's a lovey-hateness.

28.00789% - Total Geek
That sounds close.

Allison Mack really wants you to buy a digital camera. Really. She just enjoys it so much she has to say the full product name and mention either the high quality or ease of use in each "blog" entry. They're just that great!
I still love her. I want to be Chloe when I grow up.

The office is an orgy of girl scout cookies and $1-to-go-to-football-camp-or-whatever candy bars. The new girl scout lemon coolers are the bomb-da-dang-diggity.

By the way, simple appreciation takes nothing and means everything.
I'll say it again, this guy. Am I right? :)

love,
a girl named steve

Weight Watchers Recipe Cards from the Seventies, in my opinion, is still the funniest thing on the internet.

Oh, and Todd got a personal response to his email and a request to call the station to discuss yesterday's "situation". I've gotten bupkis.
I think it might help me a lot to change my name to "Steve".

Start the day with One Thing Horrifying:
Billy Boyd was interviewed on 97 Rock this morning and it was the worst, most uncomfortable thing I've ever heard. I'm physically ill. The "shock jocks" thought a good way to start the interview would be to bring up the deaths of Billy's parents. What. The. Fuck. They didn't even 'bring it up', they made jokes about how it's in his bio. Fucking horrible. We were screaming at the radio. I don't even remember how we got to work. I have already sent an angry email to the station manager, and I'm going to fax it to the parent company. Because I am on old, crotchety lady.


(So gross, you go to the website and it's all pictures of buffalo jills and barely-legals in bikinis. Shiver. I'm so ashamed of this town.)

Get it all going with Three Things Wonderful:
The first season of Upright Citizens Brigade.
There is no such thing as a better tv show than ucb. I want to have that show's babies. Comedy Central was on crack to cancel it. Plus, order the dvd through the website and you get a t-shirt with a picture of a bucket on it. Worth it.

Billy Boyd is a beautiful man, with a beautiful voice and a sweet disposition. Also, Master and Commander opens in three days. Go see it.

*edited to add-Stephen Colbert losing his shit on camera. That was the hardest I've laughed in ages.

Ok, I feel a little better. Time for donuts.

Looks like I will be in nyc for new year's day! Woohoo! These are happy times. I wanted to go sometime this month when I could actually see some shows, but whatevs. I think the only show I'll be able to see is assssscat, which would still be very cool. Did I use enough "s"s? Mkay.

I think I might be secretly competitive. I don't think, I know. That's wrong of me.
Also? Secretly? This guy. Tell no one.


I've been having frequent out-of-body experiences at my job lately. I don't mean this metaphorically, either. I'll be folding a letter and putting it into an envelope, or I'm being forced into a fifteen minute conversation about a dot of ink the printer is leaving on printouts, and I will suddenly enter a state of semi-consciousness. A dream-like state I call "alien hands".

"Opening people's mail for them? Are you serious? Do people really do this? Are these my hands? Did I really just get a 'talking to' for not date-stamping the junk mail?"

Does this mean I have some kind of dissociative disorder? Is there any medication for it? Do I just need a change of scenery? More importantly, if it keeps going on this way, will I someday look down at my blood-soaked shirt and say, "Am I really doing this? Are you serious? Stabbing someone? For complaining about ink spots on their printouts?"

How fucking sexy would it be if I learned to play the Ukelele? I picture myself on the cover of Maxim with nothing on top but that Uke', making sweet, sweet tunes.

I'm bored. Come over.

I had friends over really late last night. Everybody smoked pipes, except for me. We played catchphrase. We watched the new Star Wars cartoon. It will be pretty good as soon as they have an episode where something happens. I'm not watching it for the dialogue here, people.

My best friend is hosting the pokemon tour and today they were at the Houston Space Center.
Today I went to Famous Footwear. I got shoes. Brown shoes!

Why do I have to watch "MTV Cribs" and "Rich Girls" on the same day? Shouldn't I have spaced it out, so that I wouldn't spiral too far down into depression? Shouldn't I know better than to watch rich celebrity crap on a big bloaty day when the house is full of leftover wine? It's really good, too. Lorane Valley Pinot Noir. Write it down in your wine journal.

Fridayfridayfriday!!!
There was a girl in high school with the funniest high pitched voice in the world, and every Friday at dismissal she'd stand at the top of the huge stairwell in the center of the building and yell, "It's Friday! Fridayfriday! Hip-hip!" and all 200 of us would shout "Hooray!" "Hiphip!" "Hooray!" "Hiphip!" "Horaaaaaaay!" That had to be a vision. 200 grey wool-clad adolecent girls cheering as we ran out of the building. I didn't have any friends and didn't do anything on the weekends the first two years of high school, so my "hoorays" back then were not quite heartfelt. I've always loved participating in a good cheer, though. Hooray.

How bad is your girlcrush on Tina Fey? Here, make it worse.

The Fellowship of Christian Athletes plans a float urging students to "Let Jesus Rock Your Night Away," in which students will tear up signs with the words "sex," "suicide," "depression" and "drugs."

Hey all you kids out there choosing to suffer from depression- Cheer up before Jesus sees you! He'll catch you! and Rock you!!!!!

Wot's all this then?

My legs hurt for absolutely no reason. I may have rocked my vote a little too hard. I voted by absentee ballot because I had a half hour before polls closed and it made more sense for me to vote at the fire house next door than go to the polling place near my parent's house. So my vote doesn't even count for anything. Oh well. Democracy's more of an "idea", anyway, and I'm more into the physical act of voting than the results.

In other news: Bread good.

I want to hibernate so badly. I understand it, I support it, the time is now.

What is The Matrix? Just one good movie, followed by disappointment and anger.
My advice? Do like this: go to movie pooper, find out how it all shakes out and save your potatoes for something better.

I guess there's nothing wrong with me, except that I have pain. But since the pain has no origin, I shouldn't worry about it. Except that I seem to have gone to the doctor for no reason, and it still hurts. (and it ain't because it's fun, either.) Maybe I just like giving the lady ten dollars. Maybe I'm going to the wrong kind of doctor.

My mom told me my niece got to vote in school today. I asked her, "So, what are your political leanings?" She said, "Um . . . elephant."
She spends way too much time at my parent's house watching fox news.

I have "Save the People" stuck in my head now. There are worse ways to start your day.
:)

I'm kind of looking forward to my appointment this afternoon, because no matter what happens, I'll probably get a timmy ho's iced cappuccino out of it. The mom's addicted.

I forgot to say this before:
The Eye is one of the best scary movies I've ever seen. It's kind of sappy in parts, but it's a really well-made movie that is just so absolutely terrifying. Please rent it.

I have a call in to the nurse. I hate myself. I'm such an idiot. I'm never really sick and 9 times out of 10 when I go to the doctor it ends up being nothing. I wouldn't be the first woman in the world to make an emergency appointment for cramps. It's just such a chafe for everybody involved and I feel so guilty when it ends up being nothing. Between the doctor's time and the time missed at work and my poor mom having to cart me out there, just once I want it to be something bad so it's worth it. Except I actually don't.

"Gee, sarah, look how long your hair has gotten."
"I know, I'm almost scared to cut it."
"Don't be scared."
Hint taken.

Random things that don't require more than 2 sentences:

Holidays cause uncomfortably corny and awkward behavior in adults. "Yeah. . . um. . . ha ha. You got me."

I laid on the couch for five hours yesterday, and had a handful of almonds for dinner. I'm not sure what that says about me, but it was pretty great.

If you like John Stewart, only watch the first half hour of The Faculty.

I have to dirty up my dress for my costume tonight, but I can't find a picture of Scary Samara Morgan after she climbs out of the tv. I can only find pictures of her looking semi-normal, in her freaky little girl way.

Yes, I'm going in costume to a party tomorrow night. I'm going as Samara Morgan. Spoooky!

I'm so glad I went to see Lewis Black. Seriously. Thintherely. There was a huge crowd, and everyone was just so intense. I kept hearing "I can't wait" "blahblahblah daily show!" "If it wasn't for my horse!" The whole night was a testament to how funny Lewis is, and also to how hungry people in my city are for funniness. Every time he took a breath, people burst into applause. I don't know, maybe the audiences act like that everywhere, but the crowd just seemed so cool and happy to be there. It's nice.
We need more funny here. People talked about opening a "Comedy Hall of Fame" here, but it just don't make no sense in a town where the only comedy is one improv group in the basement of a restaurant. I don't care how good they are.

So that's my review. I have a pounding headache.

Here are some things that are coming out that I really really want and can not afford:
ucb season one
Let America Laugh
Tenacious D Complete Master Works

There are quite a few others, but these are the big ones. Perhaps, if I'm a good girl, Santa will fashion them for me out of wood and red paint.

Sometimes I reread certain entires of mine and wonder what kind of puppy-and-kitty boy-band-loving freak I really am. (The good kind, I hope!) I really am looking forward to becoming bitter and cynical in my thirties. I bet it will be really fun!

Last night I eschewed Gilmore Girls and a documentary about Einstein's Theory of Everything ("is it comprehensive?") for The Great Pumpkin. Oh my god and baby jeezus, how did I not love this stuff when I was a kid? Linus is so damn cute I squealed with joy. Squealed! With joy!
Come on. The sincerest pumpkin patch? With a lisp? What was wrong with me back then?

In other news, can I say something to Britney Spears? It's ok to just firmly and politely tell Madonna to leave you alone. The next step is to seek legal action. (Straight chicks making out is not only transparent, but totally 1998, and you know it.) (wow! this is fun!)

I had great dreams last night. I won't bore you with them, but they were fun and silly and full of the boy I have a crush on. I woke up happy.

I'm going to see Lewis Black tonight. I hope it's fun. It's the last fun thing I can do before the holidays. I saw somewhere that Chris Rock is coming to UB in November and I really want to go to that, but I just can't spend $50 on a show right before Christmas. :( This is why I can't wait to move to NY. There are plenty of shows any day of the week for $7.

I got a sort of confirmation that I've been cast in another play. Another "it's an amazing piece but we have no budget and we're not working with an established theater and we'll be doing it in the back of a bookstore and can you wear your own clothes?" production. Works for me, though, because it's The Woolgatherer (Yeah, that's the best link I could find with the time I have), and I am kind of a sucker for that play. The director is pretty good and he's good at getting grants for his shows. So that's cool. She's a beautiful character. Not funny, for once. (Well, funny in an unusual way, like me.) (and not beautiful in any physical sense, like me also!)
Whatever. I suck. I'm not hot and blonde so this is what I get.
Shame spiral! Hop on! Whee!


Also too also: Prosciutto wrapped around fruit is kinda gross, but wrap it around some cream cheese and you've got yourself a party! A party I would go to!
*Addendum: Too much cream cheese. Chest pains to follow.

I love Bill Murray because he is consistently great. I love On the Media because I am a big nerd. I'm not too sure about Bright Eyes, but I think I might like them too.

Lost in Translation was so good. I just loved it. I can't even tell you why, so we'll just leave it at that.

I was dragged to Under the Tuscan Sun on Saturday by my friend's wife. Lovely scenery. We'll leave it at that.

I don't claim to be intelligent in any way. On an unrelated note, here are three things I did last night:
1. Set a wooden spoon on fire while making pasta. (what's that smell? Man, I wish I had a fireplace. Oh well, let's see what's on tv. . . )
2. Came way too close to getting run over by a car coming back from the store because I was all wrapped up in my own thoughts on the "just came back from a long time at sea" mustache. I got an admonishing honk. (like Wilford Brim-leh. . honk!)
3. Watched The Devil's Backbone alone in my empty, freezing apartment and fell asleep for the last five minutes, so I woke up to silence and a freaky zombie kid staring back at me from the dvd menu screen.
Ver-eh Scar-eh.

T-bone's sister got us tickets to see Lewis Black, so that's awesome. Except it isn't listed on his website, so I worry (not because I fear he won't show, but because I like to worry).

Yesterday I helped my brother write a bit for his show. So that means the horoscope came true. Exciting, isn't it? Like a huge, awesome coincidence! (But also deep down I kind of believe it, because I believe in fate and destiny and fairies and that my future is out of my control.) I gave him a couple of thin ideas that we fleshed out through email and I turned one into a sketch that he can't use, but I still love it like a shiny new puppy.

This day is the longest day ever. This day is a douchebag.

Just kidding, day. I like you. Please hurry up and end so I can go home.

"I'm not doing this for entertainment."
-David Blaine
"Agreed."
-Jon Stewart

During the second interjection by Senator Nettle, Bush quipped: "I love free speech". (Hecklers ordered out)
"But I'm actually being sarcastic! I hate free speech! Ear toss!"
Is it just me or is it presumptuous for people to get all "US Constitution" in countries that are not the US? Of course, I don't know from politics, just whatever they talk about on The West Wing.
A-yuk.

I just got a telemarketing call from a guy with the thickest highlander brogue I've ever heard and I now I wish I had never put my home number on that do-not-call list. That's how they'll get me. I don't care what you're selling Angus, I want it. In large quantities. And I want you to bring it to me.

Don't you find it ironical that love is all we need? I do. Very ironical.

Rejection builds character.
Writing a page of crap a day is probably better than nothing at all.
God don't make no trash.


I am trying to force myself not to post while vulnerable.
It's too hard.


Everything that hurts builds character.
What are these? Quatrains? Am I Nostrafuckingdamus?
See? I'm already over it.

I've already had mono twice, which is supposed to be impossible. How can I have it again? I'm not saying I do, but it sure feels like it. I almost didn't come in to work, but then I did. I am both "eager" and "dedicated". I am also "prompt" and "a real self-starter". (Quotes are to be read as "air quotes". Including those ones. And "these".)

msn.com horoscopes are always so completely bizarre and specific, but I guess if they do that enough eventually they'll hit the mark.
If you've been thinking about doing some writing, perhaps for film or television, sarah, today should be a good day to get started. You may find that your creative juices are flowing freely today, and your imagination is operating at a very high level. You might decide to work with a partner, and this may be a good idea. Sometimes the blend of two minds produces a work far greater than either could separately.

Also, I'd like everyone who reads this to comment and sign it "sarah", because I want to make it look like I'm having a conversation with myself.
{g}

Yes! Now I can commune with others who prefer them stale.

Why start a fanpage about a cnn anchor? Because it's hilarious. Why did I do a search? Because I wanted biographical information. I am nursing the weirdest crushes lately, like five at a time and all totally weird.
This "sexual peak" stuff is no myth. I'm like a seventeen-year-old boy up in here. I'm about to start learning the drums or skateboarding or something.
God. I'm not even thirty.

Truths:
You cannot get shredded cheese back in the bag without making a mess.
Billy Boyd's voice still works like kyptonite on me. But like good kryptonite. The kind that makes me weak and happy.

Half truths:
I am doing my very best and my heart is in everything I do.
I am using this blog as a journal an not a place to try out stupid jokes.

Big fat lies:
I think it's going really well.

It cannot be put into words how much I loathe LOATHE! when people refer to our current president as "Shrub". LOATHE!

I went to a grown up party on friday. It was really nice, even though I just pretty much talked to the three people I showed up with. There were martinis and fancy snacks and the tv wasn't on. I didn't sit down at all. It was pretty crazy. I guess that's what I consider a "grown up" party. Everyone there was my age or older, but I'm so used to having people over and getting hammered watching Smallville. Or just going to a friend's house and sitting in a circle while everyone else gets stoned.
The one thing I'll always regret is that I never learned to mingle.

Did anybody see Kaki King on conan? Is she not amazingly incomprehensibly amazing?

I'm wiped out. I'm probably going to be very, very sick tomorrow and for the rest of the winter.

Here's a story about a funny, funny joke.

Here's the general concept that came to me at the gym last night:
I have been thinking about buying a digital camera so I can photolog. Then I could take a picture of my lunch, and write underneath it, "And I'll take a picture of the toilet later!"

Now, that is really not all that funny, it's not even a joke, but it came to me in minute 45 (which felt like hour 7) on the eliptical, so I was a little exhausted and I get silly when I'm tired. The funny/sad part of it is: I was on the machine trying my best not to have a giggle fit and pretty much laughing out loud, in the middle of a group of sweaty strangers pretending there isn't a girl having a psychotic episode to their immidiate right and left, and of course right exactly then there's a news report about the ferry accident on the tv . Of course.
"No, seriously, I wasn't laughing at that! You guys! I was just thinking about taking a picture of the toilet!"

Yes, I'm that kid.

Let's get Hecu-busy!
If you are reading this and you are in the New York area, for the love of baby jebus go see Dr. Oddbody already. It's my brother's show and I've heard it is great. I wish I could see it.


"Clowns In The Playground" - You remember the old game "Operation" don't you? Honky the (dead) Clown does, and he's forcing Jonathan the camp counselor to play! Uh oh, butterfingers! You lose! I win - your soul!

I burned the roof of my mouth last night on cheese pizza. Why couldn't I stop after the first scalding bite? Why did I eat two more pieces after the first, painful one? Instead of allowing it to cool, as the directions suggest? Cause I'm dumb. And when I'm hungry I am very, very hungry. Now, even the coffee hurts.

I'm going to see Lewis Black. Awesome. Although, I don't have tickets yet, so maybe not so awesome.
I already have my tickets for Return of the King in December. I am doing the Trilogy Tuesday, which means I'm going to see Fellowship of the Ring at 2, Two Towers at 6, and Return of the King at 10.
Fucking-A, My friend. I'm taking a day off of work to see a movie. I rule.
They're almost sold out in places across the country except for Buffalo, which has sold to about half capacity. Whoops. We suck at lots of things.

I logged on to tell the world, simply:

Ancient Coast Cabernet, when purchased directly from a Lake Niagara Vintner, is the best fucking anything on earth. Oh Jesus. It was less than ten bucks*, I and I am ruined for red wine for the rest of my days.

I saw "Looking for Normal" tonight. What a truly lovely play. In the second act, a gruff, burly guy who looks just like my dad walks on stage in a dress, wig and heels, and nobody laughs. Because we're listening. Because we get it. Which is, like, the point. Of art. So it's just nice to see a show like that.

*that's not counting the $400 I dropped on the suite, ya'see. Bah. It seemed like such a good idea in August.

I am having a hard time justifying my existence lately. I kind of feel like I might get fired, or that I should. Or that I'm ready to go maybe. Yeah, that's more like it. But I have to wait until February. I feel embarassed here. I like the place and the people, but I'm very embarassed of myself. It makes no sense, but it's true. That shit ain't even right.

I'd like to get a job at a grocery store or something to make extra dough. It's not like I do anything on Saturdays and Sundays anyway.

Ok. I'm going to buy myself a cd and a tshirt and an elaborate lunch and I'll feel better.

I haven't seen my best friend since August. She's coming home today for two days. Woohoo! I want her to pack me into a big box and take me back with her.

I fell asleep at 9:30 last night. I rule! I think that's from working out. It doesn't make me any stronger or healthier or more attractive, but it does help me pass out after my shower. Also, I had to really run to make the subway, and I actually made it. So that's a first. Little things make me happy.

This weekend I learned it is possible to make General Tso's Chicken that actually tastes really good; with just a wok, some corn starch and iron chef cooking sauce.

And no, I'm not being paid to say that.

I also watched My Favorite Year last night. Remember way back when, when sexual harassment, stalking and alcoholism were hilariously romantic? When Mark Linn-Baker was an acceptable substitute for Gene Wilder? Remember that year? That year was my favorite.

This weekend I saw three plays and a movie. Now that's livin'!
I also watched Darkness Falls. Which makes me say three words: "fuck" and "you" and "movie".

I got accused of being part of a clique last night. The fuck? (Yeah, we call ourselves The Wildcats.) I went to an all-girls high school, I've had enough of that concept to last me two lifetimes, and yet here is a man in his late thirties "joking" about how he can't talk to me because he's not part of "the clique". Gross.
C'mere, I'll fucking talk to you.

How much of a waste of time would it be for me to learn to play the banjo? Ever since I started thinking about it, I can't stop. They're so pretty. When I buy one I just have to make sure my freakishly small hands actually fit around the neck. Is there room for banjos in indie rock?

I wrote five pages and I'm exhausted and I hate every word of it. I wish I was good at something.

There was nothing in my life bigger than beer. Me too, Mr. The Who.

"I have been known to fuck shit up on the dance floor. One time, I shouldn't be telling you this, I fucked the dance floor. (Todd, did you just say?) Yes. "

Last night some friends of mine were talking about going somewhere for a lady's birthday party.

One Guy: (sarcastically) You know, that's one of those queer bars.
My BF: Oh, well, I'll wear 2 pairs of underwear then.

I don't know what it means, but I laughed for a day.

My favorite thing to do at work, other than water my plant, is order trace paper.
Because then I get to say:
"I'd like twelve inches, in the buff."

key-hee.

A guy walked through a plate glass window a few feet away from me today. So that was weird. He's fine, we've already had the glass replaced. It really makes you think about the fragility of glass.

A friend of mine just quit her desk job to work as a barista. I envy.

The most stressful part of my day is the five minutes before and the five minutes after 12pm when I have to decide for myself to stop answering the phone "Good morning [company name]" and start answering the phone "Good afternoon [company name]". I call it Making the Switch. Sometimes, when it's really bad, I just say "[Company name]".

Wow. Niagara-on-the-lake is very . . quaint. We couldn't afford to do anything but feed ourselves. I bought some ice wine that I couldn't afford and we went to bed early three nights in a row. It's a very beautiful town full of pushy old rich people and it closes at 8pm. These are my impressions though, your milage may vary. It was relaxing. I feel very mellow.

A lot of people passed away while I was gone, so I won't ever go away again.

"because we need you, and when we think about it, we really need you."

I haven't disliked myself this much in a long time. Huh.
Well, I am out of here tomorrow morning so keep yourself busy until monday.

Take it from me: I love you.

Schwarzenegger quickly pounced on the idea of fixing past overspending with higher taxes.
"The politicians make [sic] a mistake. They keep spending and spending and spending. Then when they realize they made a mistake and they spend the money they don't even have, then [they] go out and tax, tax, tax," he said.
"You guys have an addiction problem. You should go to an addiction place because you cannot stop spending."



heh.

"Going too far and caring too much about a subject is the best way to make friends that I know."

"If Joe Rogan spent less time worrying about my career and more time working on his own, maybe he'd have a job that doesn't involve watching ex-bartenders eat worms."

snort. I heart lots of things, and I really heart honesty.

Amish people are hilarious.

I am so bored.

Two Dollar Wine by The Glands is such a good song it makes me want to throw something through a plate glass window.

Oh, and I'm over myself. It's a visual medium. Stop eating and shut up. Got it.

So here's a story.

Last night I dreamt that I was going to have a baby. I was pregnant. (I would love to be pregnant by the way, I want to have children eventually, but boy would I like to just be pregnant. Kind of like how I don't want to get married but I yearn to plan a wedding.) I told myself in my dream that was going to name him stephen. I know a little about dream interpretation but I don't believe in it. I read up on it and then completely dismiss it to further solidify my spiritual ambiguity. Having a baby means "starting a new project". So I woke up this morning and said, "I'm going to start a new project today. And name him Stephen." Not really a good joke, but I was just waking up. Ok, not actually a joke. Anyway. My day happens. At 8:30 I lie in bed awake knowing fully I am supposed to be at my desk. I am a little late to work. I spend the entire morning playing on friendster with sarah and writing the monster survey. I make a pot of coffee and then another. Around 3:30 I am supposed to get permission to leave early because I've been coming in early everyday for a month and they don't want to pay me overtime. Bored yet? Welcome to my life. I write out checks for my bills this month. I grab a phone book to quickly find a driving school where I can take my 5 hour course tomorrow. I find a place in my mom's neighborhood that only costs $20, write down the number and the address. Awesome. Thirteen years late, but that's not the point right? Email the information to my mom so that I can't chicken out again. Go back and reread the email to check my spelling.
The name of the place?
Steven's driving school.

stolen from rochester sarah
I cut it down a little, too.

:x: name = sarah
:x: height = 5'8"
:x: shoe size = 9 1/2
:x: hair color = dark coppery brown, a little snowy in the back which I'm told looks "cool"
:x: length = longish
:x: siblings = 3 (including spouses 4)

LAST...
:x: movie you rented = Comedian, Permanent Midnight
:x: movie you bought = Throne of Blood, as a gift. Mr. Show DVDs
:x: song you listened to = "Your beauty Must be rubbing off on me" Hawksley Workman
:x: song that was stuck in your head = "Center of Gravity" Yo La Tengo (when I woke up this morning.)
:x: cd you bought = Modest Mouse "lonesome crowded west"
:x: cd you listened to = "Oh, do you do rollerblading races?" -a sarah mix, while working out
:x: person you've called = my sister (note: I just erased sarah's "my sister", thought for a second and wrote "my sister". I'm a jackass.)
:x: tv show you've watched = the west wing where josh gets shot.
:x: person you were thinking of = all of my secret crushes


NUMBER...
:x: of times you have been in love? = once, i guess.
:x: of times you have had your heart broken? = one or two times, I got over it.
:x: of hearts you have broken? = six. just kidding, 2.
:x: of drugs taken illegally? = none, they were all given to me. Ha!that was a joke. one, a long time ago. meh.
:x: of people you consider your enemies? = Personally, I can think of three people I could do without.
:x: of things in your past that you regret? = I would like a couple "do-overs", but you're not supposed to say that. I'd probably make the same mistakes again anyway. so 'zero'.

FAVORITE...
:x: scent = baby. paper.
:x: word = pants, "old-timey"
:x: flower = green/red leafy plants
:x: piercing = eyebrow=sexy

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...
:x: pretty = maybe 'cute' on a good day
:x: funny = i don't know.
:x: hot = c'mon.
:x: friendly = I try to make people comfortable.
:x: amusing = in a way that kind of makes you feel sorry for me.
:x: loveable = why not?
:x: pessimistic = not really.
:x: optimistic = a little too much
:x: caring = not as much as I want to be
:x: sweet = oh completely.
:x: dorky = what? no. I'm cool.
:x: 4 words that sum you up: awkwardly buxom. sweet. awkward.

DESCRIBE YOUR -
:x: Wallet = black with a silver dragon.
:x: Jewelry worn daily = none
:x: Pillow cover = grey t-shirt
:x: Blanket = star wars comforter
:x: Coffee cup = seafoam green "Take it Easy".
:x: Sunglasses = huge Jackie O tortiose shell
:x: Shoes = black mary janes
:x: Handbag = little green thing
:x: Favorite shirt = anything that buttons down the front.
:x: CD in stereo right now = the sarah mix, as indicated above.
:x: What you are wearing now = black v neck thing, brown corduroy trousers.
:x: Hair = shitty and slept on. in a ponytail.
:x: Make up = mascara, liquid blush

WHO or WHAT (was/is/are) -
:x: In my mouth = coffee
:x: In my head = three people talking too loudly on cell phones. Everything itches. what do I have to do after work before my mom's birthday party? "Ghostship in a storm", by Jim O'Rourke. how can I look like I'm working while doing this? Do these pants have a hole in them? why is this contractor suddenly acting like he's my boyfriend? these pants definitely have a hole in them. where's this hurricane already? how can I keep mashed potatoes warm on my way to my sister's house? can I use the hurricane to get out early? can people see the hole in these pants? is that stuff I said about the hurricane insenisitive? should I delete it? I want one of those oatmeal patties with marshmellow squished between them.
:x: Wishing = I lived in nyc. that our national anthem was Graham Coxon's "hard and slow"
:x: After this = eat lunch.
:x: Talking to = nobody. I'm all by myself up here. email me.
:x: Person you wish you were with = my bed.
:x: Something you're looking forward to in this up coming month = being a month older. Foliage!
:x: Something that you are deathly afraid of? = having a driver's license.
:x: Do you believe in soul mates = not really.
:x: Do you believe in love at first sight = I develop crushes immediately. not one of those "marry me" freaks, though
:x: Do you believe in God = mphf. ask me later.
:x: If you could have any animal for a pet = alf. the real alf or any medium to large dog.
:x: What are 5 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to? = nyc, vancouver, toronto, penn-yan, lake niagara
:x: What's something you wish you could understand better? = the politics of dancing. just kidding. government and literature.
:x: Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time? = all of them. especially tracey b. now I'm going to cry.

I wish there was something healthy to eat other than salad. I hate eating salad. Plants are my friends.

Also, I might just be bored, but I think I have a little of whatever Gary Busey has.

I'm going to change my name to David Lee Roth. And become a butler.

I got all jazzed last night because the boys from The OC were skipping Comicon to go to Tijuana. Comicon! Then I got bored and went to bed because they didn't go to Comicon, they went to Tijuana.
I would watch a show where characters did geeky stuff. Are you listening Aaron Spelling?!? Are your ears burning, Mr. D.E. Kelley?!?
--------

I've been drinking out of the same "Take it Easy" mug for three days. I think our German intern left it here. I hope she doesn't want it back, because I love it. It just keeps reminding me to take everything easy.

--------
I have a PEACH!!

I saw Comedian this weekend. It was really, very good. I am so satisified with that dvd rental that I may purchase the dvd itself. There were some great moments (my favorite- Barry: " . . .that's what Steven Wright does." Orny: "And where is he now?" Ohmygodfuckyouyoufuckingjackass.) There was some really great editing, which sounds stupid, but I appreciated it.

So there was that.

And there was some more Hank Williams Tribute Band rehearsal in my living room, which is fun, if not a little claustrophobic. (That's not their name by the way, they are a Hank Williams tribute band that hasn't chosen a moniker.)

Then we had friends over to watch the Conan special. Which was kind of neat, but I think maybe we can start having friends over without any kind of pretense. Who can say?

I'm thinking of getting really rich by making a brand new street drug called "Smash". It'll be a hallucinogenic antidepressant pro-depressant decongestant. It will basically just be wet chewing tobacco but sour apple-flavored and it goes up the nose.

That sucks.

I have this big long boring rant about how I hate having to lose weight and how I just gotta be me. What a sellout.

Today my inner monlogue is being voiced by a depression era newsboy.
""Extry, extry! Read all about it!"
"Aw, man, dis sellin papahs is hahd woik. I already wore out two caps taday!"
What does a newsboy say? I dunno.

ha.

Here is a list of RIAA members to boycott if you're in the mood. I know I am.

Imagine some of the most embarrassing things you would never want to have happen to you at work. okay, got it? There's my day right there. I am never not sick to my stomach.
I want it to be 5 oclock.

Happy thoughts I use to distract myself:
1. I am full of caffiene.
2. Jeffery Ross. Isn't he great? He's so everywhere that I just don't appreciate him enough. I am going to have a crush on him for a little while. Who wants in?
3. I got a new idea for something to write that, while it may be lame and kind of "lifetime for women", is very fun to play with.
4. Really, a lot of caffiene. No joke.

You know what? When I'm on stage , or I'm in my acting class and I'm doing it as right as I am capable and I'm getting it and it's really fun and all about everything that I enjoy about art and why we need it in our lives and why I dearly love the fragility and the beauty and flaws that make us human and connect us, I just can't figure out where starving myself factors in. If I could make an emotional connection from one to the other, I would have done it by now. What about this has anything to do with that? Acting is so much more than what I look like and what I wear. It has to be. I wish people understood how hard it is and how rewarding it is and, if you're doing it right, how superficial it isn't. Whatever, I guess. This is just a redundant agrument, but it really sucks. I just wish being me and being heathly and being talented was enough to get work.
But of course, this isn't strictly an acting problem. The whole fucking planet wants you to be thin, but not too thin, big boobs, but not fake ones, feminine, but not girly. And a just little gay. I'm too lazy to be anything but me. (Which, coincidentally, includes both 'big boobs' and 'a little gay'.)

God this day is fuckin long.
I'm going to think about item 2 while I go get more of items 1 and 4.
("I wouldn't fuck her with Bea Arthur's cock." how can you not love him?)

I have the television habits of a middle-schooler, and I can't decide if it is my fault for having the mind of a child or if it's because I don't have HBO, so it's Smallville and The O.C. or nothing at all. (Well, it's that or watching people eat BLOODWORMS for MON-AY.)

Also, I think if people used to (kind of but not really) call cute guys "Baldwins" I think "Brody" should mean a sweet, awkward guy who is cute in an offbeat kind of way. By the way, I'll be on staff at tiger beat magazine all week. A heh heh. Hem.

I commit to nothing in this post. I merely assert and postulate.

I am full of energy today. I am full of ideas and potential. Full of DRIVE.
Well, we'll see, won't we? There's something kind of exhilarating about taking a step closer to something that terrifies me. My heart is still pounding a little and all I did was make a few phone calls. How can I embrace so much fear without overcoming the thing I am most afraid of? I can stare into its face and it never budges.

My new favorite quotes from this week:

"I was introduced to a man there with the strangest name . . . Kelsey? Grammar?"
-my sister's boyfriend's rich auntie, after coming from a neighbor's party

"Someone behind me was doing the funniest over-the-top Christopher Walken impression, so I turned around to tell him that, and it was Christpher Walken."
-my best friend, from the set of The Stepford Wives

I'm making woven chokers for my brother to sell at his show in October, and I figured out how to make them with little nooses hanging down in the middle. Dark and gothic, no? And they're called "chokers" for extra funniness.

Oh no you di-int!!!!!!!

Just so you know, sarah sent me another awesome mix cd, and I got it on HER birthday. Sweet as hell.

I haven't blogged in a while. I'm just living in the meatspace. If I think of something funny I'll come back.

You are Mulier badasstica pseudofeminista,
the Grrl Sue. Your aggressively bitchy
"feminist" stance only causes men /
boys / male elves to posture the more, and you
fall for it. And them. Surprise, surprise.


What Species of Mary Sue Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I am so geeked up right now. Two Towahs!
We're having people over to watch it. I can not wait. Red wine! Extras! Snacks! Frodo!

I accidentally had a mini AD Miles marathon this weekend. We watched The Believer and 13 Conversations About One Thing. The former was good, the latter was fine, but not great. I also saw Texas Chain Saw Massacre on Saturday. A little disturbing, I guess. I dunno. Hot pants.

I might learn to play the mandolin.

I wrote a mean email to a friend yesterday. Not really so mean that we can't be friends anymore, but a "look at what you're doing you are alienating everyone who cares about you" mean. But kind of harsh and open to retaliation. She's being an idiot and a drama queen. Still, now I know why I'm always the pushover. I am dreading her response. Or lack thereof.

So yeah. That and the mandolin.

"He thinks I might have an eating disorder. And a fear of rectangles, is that weird?"

I'm posting because you said so.
{g}

Um. I'm hungry.

I am addicted to the internet. Like, it's pretty bad. I am honestly a little worried. A little. I can still do my job, but I don't imagine my boss is too happy with me. I am going to try very hard to go without it. Tomorrow. I can't afford to get fired, and this really is the best job I've ever had. And yes, half of the reason it's the best job is because I spend all day on the internet.

mkay.

Wow. Beauty.

Monkey hate work. Monkey hate being second guessed whenever monkey given responsibilty. Monkey tired of not being trusted with simple monkey-type decisions.

Monkey also burn finger taking loaf of bread from oven. Monkey fascinated by blister.

for your info- the song that you love in new nissan commercial is modest mouse Gravity Rides Everything.

I spent last night with friends on an amazing rooftop sitting in the dark, laughing, drinking, being catty and swapping stories. We left around 3, had breakfast with some friends and came home laaaaaate. I haven't stayed up that late in forever. I forget that once you pass the breaking point of exhuastion you suddenly feel really awake and can stay up even longer. Dangerous bit of business, that.

Seriously, every time I act like I'm about to put on a bra and go for a run, it starts pouring. Then I start doing something else, and it stops. Start walking towards the sneakers, pouring rain. Sit down with a book, sun comes out. You can all blame me.

Tonight I'm doing a variety show for a bar that closed and was demolished about four years ago. I don't really get it. I think it's a benefit for the theater, but it's also a "hey, remember the skanky bar we all hung out at all the time way back when?" So the old bartender will be there and they're going to bring back all of the old traditions. There were four or five songs on the juke box that they played all the time, enough for there to be choreography. The "Papa was a Rolling Stone" tic tac shake, flaming dr. peppers to Sinatra and at the end of the night the "Piano Man" circle with arms around each other. All while drunk. I hung out there a lot but I really didn't feel like I was "one of the regulars". But I'm doing the show tonight anyway because someone asked nicely and I can't say no. I'm nervous. I'm doing the monologue I did for the theatre festival in January, and I'm unrehearsed. What am I going to wear?

. . . ahhhh gotta see gotta know right now/ what's that riding on your everything . .

Lonely night with no tv. Pwah.
Stuff like this reminds of how much we really take for granted.

I can't access my comments. Errgh.

The autograph from scott says "Hey sarah, nice pic! Scott Thompson"
Because the lady on it looks just like me.

For a scecond I thought the button below this text box said "screw your post".

Ps Debating things makes me feel oogy. I think it's my low self-worth. I never think I'm right or smart enough to prove my side of things. Of course that's bunk. Still, oogy.

I feel kind of good and tender and vulnerable. I watched the west wing marathon and ate at the chinese buffet. Now I'm listening to Martina Sorbara, which, while not my style is really kind of aimee mann-y and jazzy and girly and is making me happy.

I really, truly can't find the clean hard copy of my screenplay. It's probably for the best.

A bit of advice:
The Ring is really not a good film to watch alone in your dark apartment. Really. I stayed in bed for two hours dying of dehydration because I was TOO SCARED to get up for a glass of water. I had to muster the courage to enter my own kitchen. They were the longest six steps of my life. I've become a wuss in my old age.

I got an amazon gift certificate. Nothing on mywish list is striking my fancy.

Oh, and Swimming Pool, while beautifully done, is a pitiful waste of time.
(ymmv)

See you on Monday!

A recent email from a family member to everyone on her contacts:
In addendum please don't send me any prayer chains or large files or forwards unless they're really really really drop dead funny. I can't be responsible for forwarding a guardian angel to 10 people in 10 minutes for 3 wishes for a missing child from Peru named Craig who needs a liver transplant...it's just too much pressure.

heh heh. Me too.

I'm thinking of forwarding this to 10 people to see how fast it gets back to me.
Meta.

Guess what I just did?
I signed for a package that was actually for me!!
Guess what was in it?
Birthday stuff! And! A kith 2000 tour poster from the Warfield! signed by Scott Thompson!

yes indeedy.
:)

the big duo-niner. wahooie!!
Tracey and I are going to hang out, maybe go see a movie. Act like grown ups. You know.

Happy Birthday Adam! Check out that headshot! He's a good lookin man.

At Borders the other day I came across this book about salt in the history section. And you know what? As boring as a book about salt is required to be, I totally saw myself reading it, and then following people around all day saying, "that reminds me of a funny story about salt. . . " "but, you know what else about salt . . ." "seriously though, you guys, you know salt? well, . . ."

Birthday season is in full swingity.
I got my second b-day prezzunt. The Lovely Bones, from my mom and dad. (The first was a "sisters are" magnet and 20 dollas from my sister. holla.) I got my brother and his wife oh my god I was wrong, it was earth all along and I shot JR teeshirts, respectively and I got my dad Aveda Tonic, because I knew half the girls that worked in the store and I would have felt stupid leaving without buying something. It was that or get some kind of stupid highlights that I would have regretted immediately. He smelled very nice when he came by my office to drop off my gift. :)

Oh yeah, the show's over. I'll always remember it whenever I hear the phrase, "this is bob." Especially when I hear it repeated seventeen times in a row. Ahh, absurdist theatre.

Pros of the smoking ban in enclosed public places:

1. hanging out on someones porch, drinking for cheap.
2. If I do go out, I can rewear my shirts and jeans to work the next day.

cons:
1. inescapable smell of bo.

They gotta start handing out those deodorant "wipes" at the door. Seriously.

I cannot hear you. I cannot hear anything.

The concert was awwwwwwsommmme. Best show I think I've ever seen.
The whoever was in charge of booking them for the free concert in the square changed his mind the day before the show and cancelled them, so the owner of the sphere stepped in and had the concert there for a mere 5 potatoes. a pittance!
I got in line at 5:10 and I was waaaay far back from the entrance. Around six my brother showed up all stressed out and said, "we're not getting in, oh shit, this sucks!" I was about to step out of line and give up when someone from the sphere came by and said, "if you're over 21 you can just go in."
My brother, the guy in front of me, and I step out of line and walk to the door. We look back, and we are the only ones old enough to do so. We walk right through the door and are among the 10% of the crowd old enough to attend the concert. it was a relief at least.
(There were alot more tatoos and kilts and facial peircings in line than in the bar. I was still dressed from work fagoddsake.)

I felt so bad for the kids getting drenched outside, but I guess the band talked to the owner and they decided to do another show right after for the underagers. So that was cool of them. Well, ok they we're getting drenched until a few minutes before they were allowed in, but still, they were standing in line for hours.
(what? still cannot hear you. somebody answer that cell phone.)

The show itself had the biggest energy and the most love I've ever seen at a concert. Precious. I also basically went to a punk show with my brother and my sister, which was the oddballest thing I've done in a long time.

so yeah. long and boring story with a happy ending. I likey.

Whale Rider? Yes.

The BF and I are planning out first real weekend away. Nice. As long as I get a room with a jacuzzi we don't have to do anything else. I am avoiding staying at a b and b. Most of them look like they're just a spare room in someone's house, which is pretty much how I'm living now except I have my own bathroom. Nope. We like anonimity.

On August 26th and 27th Mars is going to scoot past the earth and miss us by a mere 35 million miles. It is going to be bright as hell. I wonder if we'll be able to see it's moons. huh. probably not.
So between that and the Lord of the Rings dvd and Mr. Show season three coming out, AND my birthday? The month of August is a pretty sweet fruit.

I have had three conversations that have centered around or have at least involved the word "sippycup". yeah.

okay, so I love E! for one reason:
in every promo I've seen for the "101 most shocking moments that have already been discussed to death" they always show Anne Heche saying simply "Ah-ha . .wa-wa-wa!"

love it.

" . . . a holiday film for the whole family, provided the whole family is obsessed with human waste."

sorry I've been neglectful. I haven't had much to say, or more like I have stuff to say that would take too long to explain.

Tonight I'm going out with friends I haven't hung out with in three weeks, so that's awesome.

More coffee, or to brush my teeth?
hm. tough one.

okay, I just said "Biff on line 2" to someone. and meant it.

I'll keep you updated.

this is what I want my website be known for.

POtC was a fun little movie. The funnest part was seeing gareth and the guy from coupling in a regular movie. Hee.


So this is the plan tonight:
Go home, eat something. Crawl into bed by 6pm. Sleep until approximately 10:30, wake up, eat a lime popsicle, go back to sleep until 8:10 tomorrow morning. Repeat until no longer whiny about sleep deprivation.

My brother gets to go.
::pout::


Also: I worry too much and think the world revolves around me.

But . . doesn't it?

I now owe a copy of my screenplay to about seven people, and I've lost it. I finally remembered to look for it to bring it to work to make some copies (after a temporary "it-sucks-too-much-to-show-another-human-being" freakout) and it's not in any of the places I thought it would be. It's not officially missing, but I am going to have to do some heavy cleaning to find it. eep. I could print it out, but printing it is a chafe. and I have sensitive skin.

Wow. People hate me.

I miss my friends. Two girls I used to be so tight with have completely stopped talking to me. I'm not sure what I did but I'm sure I did or said something. I hate this feeling. This is so high school. I love them, but if this is how it is I'm going to have to move on. I can't sit around apologizing into the ether for something undefined.
But here I go again, making it all about me. I mean, it really seemed like she was avoiding me last night, but she could have just been tired. I don't care. I'm depressed now.
I really miss them both.
And now that I think about it, a friend of the bf who is friend's with them is avoiding me now, too. At least, when I'm around he doesn't ask todd for a ride home. We used to drive him home and hang out with him on a daily basis.
Whatever, this sucks. This is boring. And it's probably all in my imagination.

By the way, people are all about the tiny model houses. Seriously. The banks are always calling here for the tiny model houses for display in their home equity loan departments. Just so you know what one looks like before you get a loan to buy one. Too bad we don't really have any to give away. I should start making tiny model houses. There is a market for it.

I dreamt I was in heavy flirtation with Luke Wilson and Edward Norton. Hm. Now I have crushes on them both. Double-hm.

I know I am on this quest to become less self centered, but this is way a lot of conversations are going:
"So, how are rehearsals?"
"Oh, a lot better, I'm kind of tired but-"
"no, for your boyfriend's play, what was it again?"

and

"Is opening night a good time to go?"
"What? Sure, yeah! I mean, it's tonight, but-"
"No, for Todd's show, next thursday."

Oh yes. of course, why on EARTH would I be thinking about my OWN play?
It's all good.
Keeps me grounded and whatever whatever and he deserves the adulation and also whatever.

I love this referral.
:)

Well. huh.

'cause she knows that
it'd be tragic
if those evil robots win . . .

So I either have that stuck in my head or "car wash" or that one reo speedwagon song where they talk about bringing the ship in to the shore and throwing away the oar. Forever. These are the options.

What a life. Last night I had the night off of rehearsal, so I washed my costume (catholic school uniform, but genuine, not skanky) and defrosted the fridge! Golly! Because we're getting a new one! Woowoo. Then I watched the first half of The Fellowship of the Ring for the 17th time and went to bed. It's a good thing I quit drinking. During the week. Mostly.

It will be nice to have a fridge that doesn't rain on the inside.

"Back to the Loch with you, Nessie!"

I really don't want to become self-centered, but I think it's far too late. Ah well.

I feel like I should be making more of this sexy template by talking about things that are, how you say? Ah yes, "The Sexy".
Such presh-a.

I finally got to see my mom. She looks like Robert Diniro in Raging Bull. Poor mommy. Hasn't she been through enough?

Um so yeah. Our show opens on friday. I have no life. I am sick of theatre. It's a life stealer. It's so aggravating sometimes and sometimes you get a real sense of how pointless it all is. If I had dumped eight years into a real career I would be rolling in it by now. I mean, I know why I do this, I know why I've done this, but I do on occasion feel like I've cheated myself out of something more worthwhile. I hate this feeling. I hate when I suddenly stop making sense to myself.

*Edited to add- I don't blame the show I'm in for this change of heart. I think it's a good show and I'm proud of the work I'm doing.

phew.

Aw hell yeah.
Courtesy of Sarah

I can't get enough of ground force. It's such a perfect, relaxing, inoffensive little show. I have gotten to the point of taping it everyday and making little marathons for myself. and now I say things like: "water pavement" "skit" and "builder's rubbish", but only in my mind.

Yoshimi battles the pink robots is my new favorite album. You can listen to it on the website. I can listen to it in the car.

My mom slipped yesterday and got a huge hematoma on her itty bitty noggin. Poor mommy. She got a ct scan and everything checked out.
When I was three she cut her hand on a knife in the dishwasher and it bled so much my dad had her sit down. Just the act of bringing a chair from the table to the middle of the kitchen for her to sit in it freaked me out. It was the most serious injury I had witnessed in all my three years. I cried for her so hard. I cried like it was the end of the world.

I crave caramel.

God I'm busy.
This sucks. I want to retire. I want another vacation.

I've come to the conclusion that the place we're rehearsing is so small my body doesn't fit in it. I've tried to fit in the room and I can't. Even when I'm not on stage I'm still on stage. When I'm not in a scene I have to leave the apartment.
I like this play but I wish I wasn't in it. Or I wish I could focus and concentrate and find a way to be comfortable for the four hours a night we have to rehearse.
Ok, now I'm just bitching.

I am tired. I feel old. I turn an age when I have to start lying about my age next month. I'm getting too old for certain things.

What's the deal with the "related seaches" above? is that a hack? because it sucks.

I'm tired and greasy. I am in far better spirits lately, which I attribute to gallons of coffee and some serious AC.

One of our leads dropped out, and the other one didn't show up to rehearsal yesterday and may not today. uh. I would hate it if we had to just chuck the whole thing. I mean, I would like my nights off to do my laundry and such, but not that much. and I probably wouldn't even do my laundry.

I need a new desktop image.

suggest.

You little funnyhead.

I have had a really eventful weekend but I don't feel like writing it all out.

I had an audition yesterday that ended at 2, and I had to rehearse at 4, so I dropped by the Market Arcade and caught the first hour and twenty minutes of T3. Not a bad movie at all. Very "USA Up All Night", but in a good way. I'd like to see how it ends someday.
I then walked to my rehearsal which was the dumbest thing I've done in days. I love walking, but a 45 minute walk in extreme humidity isn't the best way to get yourself prepared for your craft. When I finally got there I was sweating and heaving like an idiot. I was so dizzy I knocked over a table. I'm pretty sure everyone thought I was drunk. I'm pretty sure I broke something.

One of the perks of acting is you get to have conversations like:
"ok, wait, is this chair here?"
"no, that chair isn't there."
"is this one?"
"yes, that chair is there but it's not a chair, it's a table with a phone on it."

I hope I don't get cast in the show I read for.
I hope I can be home relatiively early tonight. I feel like daydreaming and laundry.

My feet are terminally sweaty. It is gross.

I can't get "Car Wash" out of my head.
I can't stop watching Ground Force.
I can't get over the fact that I can't get over the fact that the delivery guy left me the saffron copy instead of the marigold. It's just a receipt, dammit. I'm going to put it at the top of my "to do" pile and stare at it.

so, a vacation from work=vacation from internet.
whee. It's also a vacation from exercise, which is a bad thing. I feel pretty shitty when I'm not working out regularly. I get headachy and sleepy and I can't think fast enough to keep up with conversations. I get depressed. Crazy.

I saw 28 days later. Go. Now. Is very good.

I saw Legally Blonde 2 as well. You know what? I saw it on purpose. and I liked it. So there.

Hey, next time you're in Buffalo, go to Off the Wall on Elmwood near West Utica. It is your new favorite hangout. The owner is cute and chatty. The furniture is for sale. The wine is magnifique.

I am so emmereffing bored.

I have done nothing, and will continue to do so until next monday. Errr. I should have thought this through.

I'm pretty sure I've gained about sixty pounds in the last two days.

I TOLD you I was going to forget David Cross on Jimmy Kimmel. Godammit.

I have had an insane three days. I was dehydrated, I puked on my friend's lawn and I thought I was going to die. Then my work computer broke, so this is my first time online since monday. Everything is out of order.

I'll get it sorted out and get back to you.

aw.

Dude.
I have to tell somebody.
I can cry. If you ask me to, and you're not giggling, I can have red-eye glassy tears inside of fifteen seconds. I'm sure lots of people can do this, but, I couldn't! not this easily anyway! and now I can! Not rolling down my cheeks, that takes focus and time. Like, eight minutes or not at all depending on the situation.
Not that it's a marketable skill, not like outchugging my male friends or knowing obscure facts about 80s television, but a skill all the same.
Yes, I am horribly shallow and lead a pointless existence.

Long-haired lover from Glasgow is coming to Toronto in a few weeks. I'm getting a "maybe" from the man who holds the key to the VW Golf. Just so you know, the crying thing won't come in handy here.
A scottish film festival sounds really good to me right now. Getting out of town sounds really good to me. Seeing a silly crush in person . . . I dunno. I always feel weird about it. He's just a guy. But then again, he's really hot and scottish, and that makes me really happy. I'll just see where life takes me.

One of our friends got to meet Viggo Mortensen over the weekend. She emailed us a picture of him offering her a piece of candy. She accepted, bliss followed.

Look how cute david is down there.
blinkblink.

I'm getting the sinking feeling there are far too many people I know in real life who read this.
Not that I care, but I kind of do, you know? I have written things in haste and been judgemental towards people when I shouldn't have, and I shouldn't feel like I have to take it back but people also shouldn't have to read it about themselves. Bah. Whatever. It's not necessarily private, but if you know me, if you want to know my business, talk to me. Don't go reading my journal, it's not for you. It's for the people on the right who live all over the place.
I'm not going to delete this but I might change the address. We shall see.

I gonna throw this phone out the windah. That would be inappropriate, eh?

I went away for 24 hours and it's taken me 24 hours to recover.
It was really great. it wasn't even a weekend but it was totally refreshing and fun and just great. Ellicottville is really beautiful and really empty in the off season. I didn't pay for a single thing the whole time. It was just way more than I actually deserve. I went horseback riding and it was great. They put me on a gigantic horse, and I had to get into and out of a saddle higher up than I am. The stirrup was at chin level.
"Do you think you could put your foot in the stirrup from a standing position?"
"No, but I can't touch my nose with my big toe from a standing position either."
" . . .so I should get the box."
"yes, please get the box."

It was precious. We had a huge four hour dinner complete with a lady explaining our wine. Then I stayed in the biggest hotel room I've ever seen.
More than I'll ever deserve.

I came home yesterday and fought to stay awake during the Hulk. (not a comment on the movie at all, I loved it) and then I slept from 6pm to 1 am, got up and watched the Office, went back to bed at 2:30 and slept until 11. Awesome. I didn't do any of the laundry I promised myself I'd do, so now I'm in a dirty shirt and workout pants, which, if I don't get off the computer soon I'll have to wear to work tomorrow.


go to party
listen to the dj
dance d-d-dance d-dance and go crazy
d-dance and go crazy
just the smell of the summer can make me fall in love

DAVID CROSS Co-Hosts JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE on ABC June 23rd - 27th at 12:06am


Who's going to completely forget/sleep through it?

::raises hand::

"It doesn't sound like satanic stuff," she said. "They take people that nobody will miss. And they have big boats."


Let's name the yachts of satan's minions!
(cue "baby elephant walk")

Lucifer's Lady
Rubadub Beelzebub
Lil Devil's Dingy
Fancyface
Ol' Scratch's Damned Boat

I can't actually think of any more.
:P

I feel like I haven't been home in a month. I've only been home long enough to sleep and shower lately. I am taking the first week of July off. Not going anywhere, just wasting time. Lying around, getting a tan maybe. Doing some laundry. Maybe. The bf is taking a month off of work due to the demands of the shakepeare festival this year. Thank god.
The guy needs to unwind.
I bought a TMBG cd and a Modest Mouse cd last night. Happy times.

somefantastic.blogspot.com Magic Number 23 Job Writer Personality Multiple Temperament An Oft-Exploding Volcano Sexual Very Likely To Win The Booker Prize Me - In A Word Effervescent Colour Brought to you by MemeJack

I love this show.

I am really excited about the corporate retreat. Seriously. I hate myself.

We have to be all businessy Friday morning, but then big fancy free lunch, horseback riding, big fancy free dinner, big fancy free hotel room. We have four people working on the wine list. Yay-uh.

I watched the Radiohead concert on M2 last nght at A and Js. Awesome. Do people still say "awesome"? Am I a dork?